Listen to my story...Ramblings
nafk
read my profile
sign my guestbook

Name: Henry
Birthday: 6/20/1985
Gender: Male


Interests: TV, movies, sports, sleep
Expertise: wasting valuable time
Occupation: Student
Industry: Banking/Finance


Message: message me
MSN: henrylau85@hotmail.com
ICQ: 48008756


Member Since: 7/22/2004

SubscriptionsSites I Read
girl_smileyy
joseph_plane
crystalchan
Ohendrix
iam_drex
foozgirl
Sp00nDC2
jeffreywai
donduck
dannie_ky
shelleeey
JamesDarko

Blogrings
UTM Mississauga, Ontario~!
previous - random - next

University of Toronto-Commerce Students
previous - random - next

[AYJ-ers]
previous - random - next

University of Toronto BlogRing
previous - random - next

!! Toronto Asians 416/905
previous - random - next

Asians who suck at math
previous - random - next

Toronto Maple Leafs
previous - random - next

The OC
previous - random - next


Posting Calendar

|<< oldest | newest >>|
view all weblog archives

Get Involved!

Suggest a link

Recommend to friend

Create a site


Saturday, November 07, 2009

Quarter Life Century Crisis: Career and Relationships

Relationship: Here is a question to everyone out there, if you are in a relationship and you are only sometimes happy, should you even be in it? This is the question that pops into my head almost daily...

I've dated this girl for almost 1.5 years now, but for the past 8 months, its been so rocky, but cyclical...Usually it starts of with her getting mad at me for something little, then I get mad at her because she's mad at me for no apparent reason?? Like today, I was cooking dinner for her at home since I'm on holidays from work. She asked me to get tofu at the store, which I did, but when she got home, she saw it was the "wrong" type of tofu and she gets mad and doesn't talk to me for the rest of the night! I get fed up because I get shit for the effort I put into it, so why does she get to be mad at me??? and stuff like this all the time.... I can name hundreds of situations...

We at are heart very very very different people. Our core values are vary drastically. (i.e. success to her means an extravagant life style of glamor and high end brand names. She wants to be the top person in her industry (which isn't a bad goal, its a good thing) but its unrealistic. My idea of success would be to live comfortably with a family, with a nice home, paid off mortgage and maybe a property or two for assets.) She keeps on saying that I'm not ambitious enough and I keep on telling her that she's not realistic.

Family and friends are not important to her. She prefers to be alone, and thinks that hanging out with friends socially is generally a waste of time. Only once in a while its good to re-connect. While I think that its very important to connect often; they are your support, extended family in which you can vent, provide advice and shoot the shit when you have to. When even she goes out with friends, and asks me to go out with them, I'm cool with it, but when I ask her to go out with my friends she doesn't want to or won't get along with most of them (which hurts my relationship with them) since I have to side with her. Its so bad, that whenever I go out with my friends, I don't even ask her because I know the answer already and if she does go, it will be awkward for her and will ask to leave early. 

Our interest are not similar at all. She is into the shopping, watching cheesy dramas and investing (which is good); while I'm into the sports, comedies, enjoying life, yet working hard to achieve "my" goals.

Several times she asked me that I should find someone else to date because we'd get along better and be happier, but realistically I actually have thought of this before. Knowing that its' a test, any other answer that "i don't want to find someone else" or a variation of that could lead to an even steeper decline.

What I have here is a dilemma. I think I know the answer already however... But I wanted to see it in writing. Having already establishing a 1.5 yr relationship in which we essentially live together 40-50% of the time, my parents adore her and eventually want us to get married, meeting her family and they like me, I believe that our core differences are just too different.( i just don't want it to end quite yet, but it looks more and more likely it will go in that direction.)  

_____________________


Work: I took a job at Dare Foods at a Territory Sales Manager, a total 180 from what I thought I'd be doing after graduation. Definitely not in the finance or banking field. Though the benefits of the job are great, (i.e. company car, gas, expenses, flexible time), the main reason that I'm not happy with it is because it is not challenging and redundant. Any random person picked out of highschool can do it, you have to deal with bastard store and grocery managers who have power trips everyday and it is really physically tiring. You can only ignore being blamed for things totally out of your control so many times until you just don't care about your job anymore. You just want to do your job, get money and then go home. People have always told me the most important aspect of a CAREER is if you look forward going into work everyday. I stress career because I know that I am looking at this as a job and not a career.

Question to all the readers out there, do you ever want to see how successfully you will be in 10 or 20 years? What happens if you are not sucessful, what would you do now? What could you acutally do if failure is your destiny? Unfortuantely there is no way to see this...all I know is that I don't ever want to be in that situation. But how is sucess measured? The way I see it is acutally a comparison between you and your peer groups (Highschool/university friends, people in the position as you etc). Its a relative term. You compare yourself to how you are doing vs. how they are doing. My motivation of success doesn't root from being the best, but is being not the worst. It is probably not the most ambitious goal but a realistic one at the least. When I look at my immediate peer group I can clearly identify a hierarchy, those who want to make it big and ones who are satisfied living paycheque to paycheque. I guess what I am trying to say is that I want to be accepted in the high middle part of this spectrum and don't want to be 35 years old doing a dead end job that I don't like doing living with my parents.       

-> update, so I ended up the yr 2nd highest on my team and missing my trip incentive to Portugal in 2010. Great coverage this year, everyone knows who I am, and supposedly I'm the "up and comer in 2010". Got Leaf tickets too! ;)


Thursday, March 06, 2008

Shiebe!

March 5:  GGR208 assignment #3 due ; MGT492 Case/Presentation due (DONE)

March 10: MGT461 paper due (DONE)

March 11: Grad photos (DONE)

March 12: GGR208 assignment #4 due (DONE)

March 17: MGT 461 paper 2 due (DONE)

March 19: MGT492 quiz #2 (DONE)

March 25: Mock interview practice (POSTPONED)

March 26: GGR208 Major paper due (DONE)

March 31: MGT491 Major Case due (DONE)

March 31: MGT461 In class Final Exam (DONE)

April 1: MGT493 Business Plan and Presentation due (DONE)

April 2: MGT492 Industry Case Analysis Due and Presentation (DONE)

April 7: ECMC40 Assignment due (DONE)

April 8: MGT363 Case Analysis Due & Participation Paper (DONE)

April 8 + 15: State Farm Insurance :S (Worried)

April 10: Accenture :S (Gayyed)

April 14: Rogers :S (Worried)

April 14: ECMC40 Final exam (DONE)

April 21: MGT493 Final exam (DONE)

April 22: MGT363 and MGT491 Final Exams (DONE)

April 23: Dare Foods (DONE)

April 25: MGT492 Final Exam (DONE)

April 26: GGR208 Final Exam (DONE!!!)

---------

ALL DONE! 7 courses, done!


Thursday, February 28, 2008

February's end, March's beginning

Isn't so nice now that when its 4:30 in the afternoon, the sun is still shining brightly and the sun doesn't set till 6pm? It feels nice. Spring is just around the corner, and the spring forward is sooon, thanks to the newly revised daylight saving time.

Today seemed like a huge weight was off my shoulders, my February has pretty much ended after a very vicious month of school midterms, assignments, interviews etc. I've had at least somethign due, or a test to write every single week since the second week of the term on top of trying to keep up with 7 courses. Been quite sucessful after getting some marks back. In 2 months, i'm done school finally, and I'll have my $40,000 piece of paper that's so coveted.

So it was weird, after my midterm at UTSC which I bombed because I didn't study for and got home at liek 10pm the night before, went to UTM to do some work and buy my friend a metropass at the UTSU office. So many acryonums, aways, I was sitting in the library reading some notes and I looked up and saw someone from the past I haven't seen in 2 years, which was soo weird. I was stunned, shocked, and couldn't really move or say anything. Such a weird feeling, don't even know why. Not sure she saw me, but she stood there right infront of me, looked down to the floor below, fixed her boots and continued walking. Such a weird feeling. Stunned and shocked. My heart skipped a beat, which was also odd. Made me feel so emo...so I'm here to share a short story that I wrote 2 years ago when I went to HK.

***

He had received an unexpected call earlier that afternoon, asking him to meet her at a petite restaurant in the North side of town. They had left in terms that one would consider not to be good. Nonetheless, he was happy to hear from her. Everyday he would sit in his usual black chair in his study, thinking about her. Thinking of the way she used to move so gracefully. Thinking of how beautiful she was and how she stood out from the rest of the girls. He missed the way she reacted when he playfully pointed out that there was something on her face, even when there wasn’t really anything there. She would get all uneasy and start to frantically rub her cute little face. Adorable he thought. When she couldn’t reach it, she’d start twitching, and he’d gently touch her angelic face and brush it off like a snowflake on a cedar tree. 

Reminiscing about his past had gotten him into a dreamlike state. Snapping awake from the angry horns of rush hour traffic, he had realized that if he did not hurry, he would be late. Scurrying along, he threw on his newly bought Kenneth Cole shirt, with his casual Friday jeans; masked himself with his Polo Black Cologne, and was on his way to meet the girl he had still not let out of his heart.

Patiently awaiting her arrival, he gingerly played around with his complementary glass of water the waitress had just given him. Getting a little anxious from not knowing the meaning of the get together, he starting coming up with hypothetical scenarios of what would happen. Why was he there? Was she going to introduce him to her new boyfriend? Introduce him to one of her girlfriends? Return his belongings? Tell him about her hectic week? His mind was running wild! Preoccupied, he had failed to notice that she had just come through the door. Noticing a shadow above the table, he took a glance upwards and there she was, stunning as ever. She came in a knee length, white summer cotton dress with a light pink sleeveless tee. She was wearing these silver slip-on heels, which perfectly complemented her smooth, slim and sensationual figure. An outfit so simple, yet so classy, it was prefect.

She sat down with a warm smile on her face behind the gentle glow of the candlelight. The flickering radiance of the room made created a tension that was almost unbearable. He was about to burst from his anxiety and curiosity. Finally she had mad the first move. She explained that the reason for them meeting was to talk about the good times they had together, and how she missed him. Shocked, his mind drew blanks. All this time, sitting and thinking about her, day and night, day and night, she had done the same as well! Two people so similar, yet so different were kept apart from the fatal flaws of communication and openness from their initial relationship. It had seemed that both had not learned a thing from their past. He had already thought that it was over. She had made it quite clear, at least to him that it was over. She on the other hand, she believed that he was ignoring her and was mad at her for all this time.

Unexpectedly the waitress came walking through the overcrowded restaurant. The dim lights reflected off her face, revealed signs of fatigue, which was all in a days’ hard work. There was yet another surprise. In the waitress’s hands was a small Tiramisu cake she had baked to celebrate their birthdays! He had totally forgotten amidst the pandemonium going though his head earlier in the day. It seemed almost unreal. The two had birthdays one day apart, the June 19th, and June 20th, but 2 years apart. This was one of the first things he had asked her. “Let me guess when your birthday is?” trying to break the ice. “From your gorgeous white skin, I’d have to say December.” It was way off, but this lead them to grow closer together. 

The cake had arrived. A crumbly cookie based bottom, was topped with a heavenly vanilla and cheese filling, seasoned by a dark, mouth watering chocolate paste from Belgium. Doing what a courteous waitress should, she carefully and delicately sliced the cake into equal portions. However she accidentally in haste from the heavy demand of her services had pushed the delicious and symbolic treat onto the ground. Having their cool heads prevailing as usual, they sincerely accepted the waitress’s apologies, and she was on her way to continue her duties.

Looking at the ruined cake on the ground, they smiled at each other, just like the way they had first met in their introductory Sociology class. He had joined the class late, to avoid a tough Econometrics course; he sat alone on the right side of the lecture hall. Needing notes and wanting to meet more people, he kept on seeing the same girl sitting at the same spot. The very first time he laid eyes on her, he thought she was gorgeous. Having almost no nerves to do anything, it was abnormal for him to do what he was about to do next. Quietly thinking to himself, he realized he had nothing to lose. He got up from his seat just before the lecture had begun, and sat in the empty seat beside her. Throughout the lecture, he did not pay attention at all. All he could think about was the way he could ask her for the notes in a way that would not seem disrespectful and aggressive. As the lecture was finishing up, he became very uneasy and started to sweat profusely. She had noticed this and was smirking and giggling to herself. He tried to keep his composure and tried to cool down by fanning himself, yet feeling more and more humiliated, he began to sweat even more. As the lecture ended it had seemed that he had just walked out of a sauna with his clothes on. About to run out as fast as he could, he gathered all his nerves and asked shakily, “Excuse me, I’m new in class would you mind if I borrow your notes from the first few lectures?” Expecting a big “NO”, astonishingly she had agreed, although reluctantly. He had guessed that it was an invite to sit beside her for the rest of the school year.  

After dinner she had explained that the cake was supposed to celebrate our birthdays, but as well a gesture to try to work things out again after things had gone so wrong. This was like music to hear ears, yet there was something about it bothered him, like a thorn in the side. On one hand he had dreamed of this day for a long time coming, yet, it seemed that the original separation was called for. Torn between his feelings that perhaps they were better off distant or if they weren’t even supposed to be apart in the first place, had put yet another burden on his mind.

Being quieter than usual, she suspected that something was wrong. Strolling through the long, lazy meadow, with birds chirping in the fresh spring air, and squirrels chasing each other onto the thick trunks of the deciduous trees she asks, “What’s wrong?” out of the blue. “Aren’t you happy?” Unsure of how to answer the awkward question, the brief moment of silence was broken by her distress. “Ugh!” she screams, as she stumbles about to fall. She had twisted her ankle on a jagged rock. As his instincts took over his body, he quickly caught her delicate body and she fell directly into his arms. At that moment, with the sun beaming down on their skin, the sweet aroma of the lavender flowers in the air, and the warmth of her body, everything seemed once again to be in the right place. Carrying her in his arms, with her head resting on his chest, he lost his balance, stepping on a broken branch as she fell on top of him onto the relaxing green grass. With a slight breeze in the air, the grass grazed their skin as they gazed deeply into each other’s eyes. Her soft supple lips looked even more attractive with the lip-gloss she had applied earlier. Everything seemed perfect. He knew now, he wanted to get back together and that moments like this don’t happen for a reason. As he leaned in to kiss her desirable lips…

He jumped up in the warm humid air of his room with the fan blowing hot air back into his face, like it was almost teasing him. He had realized what had happened. It was all just a dream.

 


Saturday, February 02, 2008

Final Term so far

So my final term so far has been alright. 7 courses not AS bad as i thought it would be....but its getting there now.

Had 4 things due the past 2 weeks, which aint bad, but, the next two weeks till after Feb 14th, will be kidna rough. Group work is rough, but when 5 of the 7 courses you need group work its though to find the right time! (Fridays @ work) 

Feb 6: GGR208 due (done)

Feb 7th: MGT493 proposal due (done)

Feb 11: MGT491 Midterm,

Feb 12: Interview (need to ace this one!!!); MGT363 proposal due

Feb 13: GGR208 midterm; MGT492 Strategic Management proposal due

Feb 14: ECMC40 at Scarborough, group work due

Reading week:

Feb 28th: MGT363 midterm; Mgt493 marketing plan due

Feb 29th: MGT492 quiz;

Feb 30th: ECMC40 midterm

 

Well...I guess it isn't that bad.....speaking of which, why do people go to UTM library upstairs and talk so fucking much. It pisses the hell out of me. I just don't get why people come in groups, sit beside each other, NOT take out any books, talk for 1-2 hrs, then they feel good about themselves and said they've studied in the library. It irrates me so much, I give them a dirty stare downs, they look back and continue talking to their friends or on their cellphones like no one else exists. If you want to talk talk outside the god damn library, or even in the open area!! If anyone who does this, reads this, go jump out the window!

  

 

 


Tuesday, January 01, 2008

A New Year

So 2007 Passed.

2008 Time. Time to Focus. Finally back to school since April 2006.

7 Courses. Work. Need to find FT job by March. Bring it on.



Next 5 >>